Blessed

It is 11:45 PM, the evening before my first law school final (Civil Procedure).

I'm nervous. I'm very nervous. This has been a grueling several months. If there is any course and examination that would epitomize the battle of the past several months, it is absolutely Civ Pro. So much information to take in. The level of mastery expected is high. And don't forget that you're competing against 79 other brilliant people for a coveted HP, or, at the very least, not be to be shamed by an LP, the wooden spoon. The stakes are high: the grades from this first semester play a large role in determining what doors of opportunity are open later in the year, later in law school, and later in life. It is truly a high pressure situation.

Breathe.

One more.

Good to get that out. It is liberating to be able to write all that is "riding" on these exams. I can confidently say that at this point in life, on the cusp of 26 years old, I have lived enough to develop a philosophy of my own that I very much believe in. "This" is not "it." My life's defining work has yet to come. The exams over the next week are merely stepping stones, or, as I shared with a few friends, "character-building exercises." As important as it is to do well on these exams is the ability to learn from the process. Every experience is one from which I can further grow and learn. This one is no different.

Before writing, I read my first post in which I shared the many hopes and fears that came with applying to law school. It is incredible how much time has passed and seemingly how much has changed. As I reread the post, however, I realized that not a lot had changed (in a good way). I still regard myself as truly blessed to be here, and see each opportunity with which I am confronted as a learning and growing opportunity. So, in the spirit of that first post, I am writing to the future Chas about the importance of learning from this experience of the next week. You have worked your butt off. Could you have done more? Absolutely, but you have worked faithfully towards the cause and have put in more than you have in nearly anything thus far in life. Now you are going out to test yourself, to see how you stack up. Here are a few things worth remembering: 1) Don't think about anyone else but yourself. As long as you can leave the exam saying that you put forth your very best, there is no need to think of anything else. 2) Remember what got you here. More than anything (perhaps even intelligence) what has gotten you this far in life is your passion, and your ability to communicate that to people. Don't forget that, for that is a gift that will take you far. 3) Don't shy away from success. Don't drop the bar just because it makes you feel more comfortable. Embrace the idea of being the best, at the very least, the very best version of yourself. As opposed to lowering the bar and tailoring expectations, raise it often, recognizing that failure is not an end. Failure means that you have more work to do and that you should get to it. You need to want failure with a high bar everyday of the week over success with tailored expectations.

As I left home this past weekend, I saw a note that my mom left me on a blue sticky note. It was simple, but it is one that I carry in my wallet with me now. The note read, "You are God's gift." As I'm looking at it, I don't exactly know what to make of it, though I know that there is something in it that rings true to me. Against the backdrop of a law school examination, this might seem like a trivial post as a whole, though it further reminds me that there is a great deal to be done beyond this first year of law school and the law school experience in general. This is merely the training ground, "the preseason" as my dad said this evening. Lord, please help me keep this all in perspective, and help me do right through your guidance.

CJHIII